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+50
New York tenants turn on the heat
Minnesotans plant gardens
+40
Californians shiver uncontrollably
Minnesotans sunbathe
+35
Italian cars don't start
+32
Distilled water freezes
+30
You can see your breath
You plan a vacation in Florida
Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
Minnesotans eat ice cream
+25
Boston water freezes
Californians weep pitiably
Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
+20
Cleveland water freezes
San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
+15
You plan a vacation in CANCUN!!!!!
Minnesotans go swimming
+10
Too cold to snow
You need jumper cables to get the car going
0
New York landlords turn on the heat
-5
You can hear your breath
You plan a vacation to Hawaii
-10
American cars don't start
Too cold to skate
-15
You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
Miamians cease to exist
Minnesotans lick flagpoles
-20
Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens
-25
Too cold to kiss
You need jumper cables to get the driver going
Japanese cars don't start
Minnesota Twins head for spring training
-30
You plan a two-week hot bath
Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
-38
Mercury freezes
Too cold to think
Minnesotans button top button
-40
Californians disappear
Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
Minnesotans put on sweaters
-50
Congressional hot air freezes
Alaskans close the bathroom window
Green Bay Packers practice indoors
-60
Walruses abandon Aleutians
Minnesotans put gloves away, take out mittens
Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
-70
Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo,
-80
Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
-90
Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer
-100
Santa Claus abandons North Pole
Minnesotans pull down earflaps
-173
Ethyl alcohol freezes
-445
Superconductivity
-452
Helium becomes a liquid
-454
Hell freezes over
-456
Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90
-458
Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution
-460 (Absolute Zero)
All atomic motion ceases
Minnesotans agree as to how it's getting a "mite nippy"
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